May 2012
1 tag
May 21st
7,431 notes
May 21st
15,151 notes
May 21st
13,388 notes
May 21st
59 notes
May 21st
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May 21st
21,214 notes
“There are two people who arrived [at SNL] fully formed — her and Dana Carvey —...”
– Lorne Michaels on Kristen Wiig.
May 21st
172 notes
May 21st
70,876 notes
May 21st
2,390 notes
May 21st
1,155 notes
1 tag
I'm not masturbatin', but I'm feelin' myself!
May 21st
May 20th
10,324 notes
1 tag
May 20th
12 notes
May 20th
139 notes
3 tags
I avoid religion altogether.
I think the majority of it is such bullshit that none of the seemingly logical things (in any religion) make sense. I just saw something that bothered me, though. “In the end of your life, nothing matters. The good people go to heaven.” HELLOOOOO? What the fuck is the point of living then? Why bother? Life is the ultimate gift. You were created by two beings to make and do great...
May 20th
May 20th
17 notes
May 20th
3,346 notes
Zooey Deschanel: Is that rain?
Siri: What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to-
Zooey Deschanel: Let's get tomato soup delivered!
Siri: ...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want.
Zooey Deschanel: Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes.
Siri: Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just-
Zooey Deschanel: Remind me to clean up.
Siri: Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible-
Zooey Deschanel: Tomorrow.
Siri: I'm in hell. This is hell.
Zooey Deschanel: Excellent. Today, we're dancing.
Siri: I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything.
Zooey Deschanel: Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll."
Siri: I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you.
Zooey Deschanel: *dances*
Siri: Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet.
May 20th
43,156 notes
May 20th
84,286 notes
May 20th
148 notes